


Captain Ahab and the Moby Duck

by Enigel



Category: Cabin Pressure
Genre: Comment Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-26
Updated: 2011-01-26
Packaged: 2017-10-15 02:24:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/156051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enigel/pseuds/Enigel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Calasara's wonderful <a href="http://community.livejournal.com/comment_fic/219891.html?thread=46240755#t46240755">first line prompt</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Captain Ahab and the Moby Duck

"This is not a question I ever thought I would have to ask, but... Why is there an angry duck in the cupboard?"

"Because I figured - and pardon me if I have my priorities wrong - that 'angry duck in the cupboard' was better than 'happy duck in the _passenger cabin_ '. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Hm. Allow me to rephrase that, Douglas: Why is there a duck on the plane at all?"

"Because it's a... travelling duck; MJN is fulfilling its dream of boldly going where no duck has quacked before."

"On an aeroplane flight deck?"

"To Paris."

"I'm sure they have plenty of ducks in France, Douglas."

"Not like this fellow here, they don't. Teki is a representative of a rare breed of Turkish duck, not at _all_ like the common French quacking fowl."

"Ugh, Douglas, seriously, what part of 'no smuggling' do you still need explained?"

"Martin, I'm hurt. Why must you always think the worst of me? Teki was entrusted to me by my old friend Kemal, and is to be reunited with Kemal's cousin Ali, to bring him... a little taste of home, so to say."

"Ugh." Martin eyed the duck, his gaze hovering between pity and hunger.

"Don't pity him, he's only being brought in as the Donald to their Daisy Duck, if you know what I'm saying."

"Does Ali happen to be a customs officer, too?"

"Hmm, no. It wouldn't be tricky if he were."

"Oh, God."

"Don't worry, Martin, I'll take care of everything. You just usher Teki back into his cosy cupboard, and everything will be all right. Just make sure-"

"Ow!"

"-you don't try to pet him. Ah, too late."

"Ow! I didn't think a duck would have such sharp teeth. Ow! Douglas, I'm bleeding!"

"Ah. Should I take control of the twelve-ton metal can hurtling through the sky while you see to your wounds, Captain Ahab?"

"No! I mean no, I'm fine. Ow."

"Of course you are. I'm sure our Moby Duck is perfectly safe and clean. Probably. The risk of infection should be minimal, anyway, no more than 30%."

"What?"

"Well, it's not like he has any official papers or anything."

"But- if they need him for a breeding farm, surely he-he-he's had some vaccines, or whatever ducks need... Douglas?"

"Hmm. If I were you, I'd pour some alcohol on that cut, just in case."

"But-but, Douglas-"

"Ah, yes. The alcohol is in the first aid kit, which is in the cupboard with Teki. I see your dilemma. There should be some vodka in the galley."

"Douglas!"

"Don't worry, Martin, I'll do my best to ensure that the autopilot and the horizon remain on good terms while you're gone..."


End file.
